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August 29, 2012

Wonder Woman and Superman...

Maybe by now you've seen the whole "Superman and Wonder Woman are hooking up" news article that seems to be more important to a lot of news morons than the real news of the country.

OK, maybe it is more important.

What's actually important is that the whole thing is kind of pathetic.

Let's paraphrase the event for you that haven't actually seen it.  Wonder Woman and Superman are sitting on top of a building after having dealt with some evil for the issue.  Why they're sitting on a building instead of a park bench, or the Hall of Justice, or somebody's appartment, they don't say.  Wonder Woman is sad because she's let the man she may have had feelings for go, because she realizes that a mortal man in her life would just be in danger all the time.  Don't get all "but he's a soldier, a spy, a badass" on us.  That doesn't apparently matter.  So they open their hearts to each other.  The scene goes something like this:

Wonder Woman: I'm sad and lonely because I can't have a relationship with a normal person because they would probably come to harm.

Superman: You know, I just realized by your example that I'm also sad and lonely because I can't have a relationship with a normal person because they would probably come to harm.

They look at each other making the same realization that two sad and lonely and horny people have made since the beginning of time, admittedly usually helped along by a bottle of vodka.

And they kiss, fade to black before the building gets collapsed beneath them.

What about Lois?  Seriously, Lois instead of Wonder Woman?  You don't even have to beg Wonder Woman to get dressed up for fantasy sex and bondage.  Lois who?

So now you know.  And knowing is half the battle.

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