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January 5, 2007

Fat Pill

We've all heard the anecdotes about how you can learn so much about a person by looking at their pet. The pets that look so much like their owners, or is it the owners who end up cloning their pets appearance?

Today's news come with just such a tie-in.  A fat pill for overweight dogs.

Now we're not going to get into biology here.  We're sure that some doggies are prone to bloating 24/7, or perhaps they're just "big boned." But the fact of the matter is that doggies can't raid the treats cabinet by themselves - it takes the help of someone with opposable thumbs. Someone else made them fat. And what is more pathetic, the fat dog, or the owner?

The idea that skinny absolution can come in the form of a pill (which probably will end up in a number of dumb human stomachs if they see results) is just another example of this societal sickness: "I can't help myself."  I can't help myself from eating four Twinkies before bed (maybe if the Twinkies weren't in the house?)  I can't help myself from saying Yes to Supersize. Hmm, that restaurant choice wasn't too good from the start tubby.  I can't help myself when Fido looks at me with those big brown eyes, I can tell he's craving a snack.  Yeah, right, that or a walk maybe?

But look at it this way... we're not saying help yourself we're saying help the damn dog.  Stop feeding it more than you should, moron. If you love it, stop killing it with food.

Trust us, the thing will still love you.  It's a dog, it can't help itself.

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